with my Venus in Pisces, I tend to want the whole fairytale..... the romance, etc..... and I give 110% of myself when in love, really want to please my partner, whether or not I get the romance and trimmings. :o)
The Aquarian side of me is more logical and keeps me in check. This is why I don't get infatuated and I'm cautious. The Aquarian side takes in the bigger picture, tries to envision the future with this person, decides if the relationship is supportive and nurturing with flexibility of both people. It also gives me a more unitarian view.......seeing love in everyone......knowing we all need love, even the crankiest person.
I do have a Leo Ascendant, which I think brings creativity into the romance, makes me want to lavish attention on my mate, surprise them often with little notes and gifts.

My opinion is that love comes in an assortment of colors. :o) There is no right or wrong view of it. For me, love is self-sacrificing at times. But it isn't done with a martyr complex, it is done truly with the wish to make the other person comfortable or happy. I may not get the knight on a white horse charging up to sweep me off my feet, but I can feel that way when I look into my lover's eyes, when I experience that deep connection while joyfully anticipating a future of growing old together.

Thanks Kate for bringing it back to astrology!

My current understanding is that love is something that is born from within and is not dependent on outside circumstances or other people. You can be in love if you want to be in love, regardless of what's going on around you or who's loving you back or not. The expression of love can take many forms and there are no rules. In life I've found there's much less suffering if I let go of my limiting beliefs about love and relationships and simply love myself for who I am, and then experiment to see what works best for me in relationship. Being gay, though a source of inner conflict and pain for many years, has ultimately become a blessing because it taught me to trust my own inner nature first rather than society's expectations. All relationships, gay or straight, are a challenge and aren't meant to be easy. Relationships help us to learn humility, forgiveness, compassion, trust, and kindness. Relationships help us to face ourselves and to grow beyond our fears. It is such a blessing when I can accept and appreciate my boyfriend for who he is, and let go of my petty judgments. Without needing it to be anything other than what it is, life can be truly joyful, at times even graceful and easy. But, for me anyway, I couldn't get there until I had spent many years suffering through several variations of my own personal relationship hell.

David Ray
July 4, 1972 @5:46am
Santa Barbara, CA

Cancer Rising
Aries Moon
Cancer Sun

Venus in Gemini with Saturn in the 12th house

Is there any other astro info you want?

Sun in Taurus, Venus & Mars in Aries

It's taken me most of my life (to date) to realize this, but I recently watched a South Park episode that provided much insight. With Venus & Mars in Aries (opposing Pluto) love is (for me) inseparable from competition. Much like Bono, I need to be #1 (in the eyes of a lover). Being a #2 is completely unacceptable to me, especially if it represents a downgrade from a previously established most-favored status. I think this is why I do so poorly in polyamorous situations. I would rather not be involved with someone at all than be a #2 (even for a little while), and as such I would rather destroy a relationship than accept a demotion.

I am philosophically in favor of the poly lifestyle. It just never seems to work out. I'm willing to accept nothing less than complete victory once I throw myself into a situation. If another man is involved I tend to get very territorial -- I am uncomfortable in his territory and likewise I feel uncomfortable and defensive when he is in mine (with regards to a woman). On the other hand, if the fight over a woman is too easily won, I can get turned off and lose interest -- because I need the challenge. When stuff is too easy and runs too smoothly, the passion will disappear. There needs to be some drama in a romance for me, some push and pull, some emotional explosions. There has to be something I'm fighting for or defending. There has to be something at stake. If there's not, I just don't care.

With a Taurus Sun I am extremely possessive in love and sometimes controlling. Anyone who has been with a Taurus probably knows what I mean. I'm also terrible at breaking up with people, but I only consider that a testament to how much I value(d) the relationship in the 1st place. A lot of people move in and out of relationships so quickly and smoothly, like they are nothing -- but for me every relationship is an epic romantic saga (or else it's not worth being involved in the first place).

I've a retrograde Venus in Scorpio, 8th house ~

love stirs me from the inside
surprises me, challenges me & scares me (I don't care much for things without the ability to scare me, Scorpio Sun & Moon)
love inspires & transforms me

love is not only defined by "romantic love", although that is a factor & the aspect that grabs most people's attention ~ but I'm not much for "mainstream sensibilities" ~ I revel in more unusual concepts of love ~ love that pushes defined boundaries & keeps leading me deeper & deeper into unknown territory

all-ways,
mem