Y'mama,
Do what is from the heart he'll say if its too much or retreat more-just don't over kill in the times when he does retreats with a lot of self & couple worries, talk ,and questions and it "could" feel like pressuring maybe not depends on other things in the chart.
Many cancers retreat so leave him to it -don't take it to mean something personal that only adds pressure and invades his shell .
It is part of the personality, cancers are not so secrative as they are quiet and a little private (sometimes or at times )-he''ll share and if you want more sharing you have to learn to read his non verbal lingo too and be there for him but accept his personality as it is .
It kind of difficult to explain , I have a Pisces moon so I read all level of people and there are times where it is like you have to be energetically paralle like children who play side by side but are not interplaying be there in the connection but don't step in without a lead to . You can always do something for him -give him something sentimental it can be anything which has a meaning to your or him.
Cancer signs are so very appreciative -I have a girlfriend from highschool who still has a sketch i drew of her on one of my graded school papers.
It doesn't sound like the relationship is rocky other than its new and you are still learning each other .
Good luck -kate

I'm married to a cancer man and my recomendation is to give him space if he needs it....don't push what you want/need over what he is telling you by retreating. He will come back to you when he is good and ready...it's difficult if not impossible to push a cancer into doing what they don't want to or are not ready to with out further irritating them. Cancers are deep creatures (cantankerous?) and need time to sort things out by themselves and they are definitly worth the wait!

best of luck!

cancer men can be very immature about their feelings and passive/aggressive in a punishing controlling way also..
(c'mon ladies you know what that is all about, right? - hehe)

your disclosure reassures him and also scares him because now he has to responsible for his feelings AND yours -- Cancer is an immature sign, like an awkward teenager - opposite the mature adult, Capricorn. Cancers know the changeability of the emotions, including their own. It was nice to dream about your love, romanticize it - but now that he has it ,,. UH OH! ,, now what?! -

Let him alone to brood and remember this - never chase him or initiate with him or you will tempt this foolish game that you BOTH are playing.

You need to be transformed (8th house) by love and sensitivity - meaning selfless love not the "reciprocate my feelings now that i have told you how i feel", type of love. He needs to serve (6th house) - meaning "there is a larger purpose to life beyond my emotions", type of service - I assume you are Sag.

This is the 6/8 - Sag/Cancer association.

You have to keep to the subject matter. Nothing trivial such as questioning or meeting and greeting. You have to give him the information he needs to stay secure or never speak to him again.

Give him the specific information he needs to feel secure with you. No high pitched, what, why or who questions nor playing with manners anymore. Do this or never call again.

yes, that would be irritating. you should assure him of what he is to you and let him decide if it will work. try not to question or do any well-wishing.

He reads them.... Don't be fooled lol....

To get him out of his shell.... Form ritualistic hobbies..... Like going to the movies every monday... Having alone time every thursday.... stuff like that....

I think Sadasiva gave excellent advice! Not all Cancers are the same. Sure, a little moodiness can be understood. He's probably being on his best behavior while you're dating, but what happens when he starts getting used to expecting you to stick around and putting up with his b.s.? I've btdt, and think his behavior should be a red flag. I'm Sag rising and I dated a Cancer/Sag rising (Jupiter exalted in Cancer lol) that "retreated" every eclipse for days and weeks at at time, was very affected by the Moon, very moody. What would he get so upset about that he would retreat? Over nothing. As it turned out, he had a very nasty temper that he didn't want me to see, so he would storm off and not call until he cooled down. Ask yourself what your guy gets so upset about that he retreats for days at a time and won't return your calls? Do you think that you did something to deserve that? Do you think that's normal? Don't make excuses for him because he's a Cancer and so that makes his behavior okay. That is passive/aggressive, controlling behavior. He's punishing you. I think it shows he needs to learn how to deal with his anger. It's hard to have a relationship with someone who doesn't know how to express those feelings in a normal way. Good luck with it. He's probably a fabulous guy the rest of the time.

"How should I communicate with him when he retreats? If I call he won't answer the phone. If I send him a text message he won't respond. Should I just leave him alone? Send him messages like "miss you", "thinking of you", "hope your doing okay". Will this just irritate him? Should I send these messages everyday until he comes out of hiding or just send 1 message and leave him alone?"

Depends on his Moon. One message would be enough to show you care for some Moons. Some Moons would be okay with messages every day, some would be irritated by frequent messages.

"This man has told me he loves me and i'm his future. What can I do to make him feel secure with me? He told me he hasn't opened up to anyone like he's opened up to me but yet he still retreats."

It's not about feeling insecure. He's having a quiet tantrum. Something set him off, and he's feeling like a victim. When he's so caught up in his emotions, you can't rationalize with him. It takes time for him to process his emotions. An outside force can make him snap out of it quickly. Like hearing about a family death could put things in perspective and make him call you.

"I don't think he's ever lied to me but I believe he is very secretive."

You mean like why he won't talk or something else?

"I don't want to smother him or make him feel overhwhelmed. I sent him a nice long email professing my feelings for him because I thought it was only fair that he knows how i feel since he put his heart out there for me. I just want us to feel secure with each other and I'm not sure how to accomplish that. I'm not one to put my heart out there but for him I will and I told him that."

Overwhelmed is a good description. He probably took something way too personally and is feeling overwhelmed when he retreats. After he's talking to you again, wait a few weeks and ask him about it and what you should do next time. It will be easier for him to talk openly about it after you're back together and he's in a good mood.

The miss you thinking of you text are good for me as long as they are sincere. The hope everything is ok is not good at all. Its good if its about a serious crisis someone else is having but not me. I'm an optimist and asking that about me makes me think you have some doubts. I trust myself and do a lot better when someone believes and has confidence in me. Send one of the two messages and wait for his reply. If he loves you and believes you are his future he should reply. I would definitely. It takes a lot for a Cancer man to express what he did to you. We protect are hearts with are strong shells. So when its out there we become sensitive to the reaction. Its a great thing when a Cancer man gives his heart and devotion to a women. Its all love from there on. Maybe he has not checked his emails or is actually afraid of whats in it. But if you send him the text he will realize that the email is good. Thats me and my opinion...

Cancer Sun, Aquarius Moon, Capricorn Rising...

Cancer sun here.

We are not so much secretive as we are careful about expressing strong emotions. We all need time alone no matter how strongly we are emotionally bound to people. You have to respect that. We are a moody lot, and often seem hard to understand for the air and fire signs.
Earth responds better to the cancer energy.

Speaking only for myself, I love it when someone I like comes along and pulls me out of my shell. It means they care. I treasure those moments

If he's retreating - leave him alone!

I'm not trying to be unkind, but speaking as a Cancer, when I'm pulling back, messages of "miss you" and "thinking of you" will only serve to make me feel as though my needs for space are not being respected, and (as it's likely I'm being moody anyway) will only irritate me, or cause me to retreat further, or both.

Let him breathe. If he says he loves you and you're his future, believe him, and let him have his space!